Me as a teacher: from scared to comfortable in a classroom

Me as a teacher: from scared to comfortable in a classroom

 I never thought I would be a teacher. As a teenager, people would ask me, “What do you want to be when you grow up?” And I would answer, “Either a journalist, or a lawyer, or a diplomat…”. Medicine and engineering were completely out of the question! And so was teaching, maybe because it´s such an insufferable field in Brazil, even though people used to say that my English was great and that I should give teaching a try.

The years passed by and I became a lawyer. I worked for 6 years as such, but with the constant feeling that something was either wrong or missing. I only found out what was wrong when I changed fields. Dealing with people´s personal tragedies was so exhausting and annoying! I had to go to the Court every day, to participate in hearings with judges and prosecutors, to solve divorce cases, car crash cases, neighbors’ fights, not to mention defending criminals such as drug dealers and killers… So I decided to give up the stress and start doing something else. After all, people change professions every day; why couldn´t I?

My first experience as a teacher was in a school that didn´t require experience, so it was easy to get in. There was just a quick interview to check my oral skills, a written test with a few paragraphs to write and that was it. I was hired. I had two weeks of training – which served only as a sample of what I would have to do as teacher. We couldn’t take the books home to study and prepare the lessons, which might make you, as a reader, think, “What about the lesson plans?” And I answer you, lesson plans? Forget about them. There weren’t any. We also had a few group work and discussions. And then, there I was in the classroom, as a lamb thrown to the lions.

I remember it was the last kids´ book, so the students were about 9 or 10 years old. There were 4 of them. I was shaking, my throat was dry, my voice was trembling, but everything was going well until the moment that I forgot… the method! I couldn´t remember what to do next: which page should I be in? Which exercise should I tell them to do? Is it my turn to speak? Or is it theirs? Do I have to drill the vocabulary now? They started glancing at each other, as if they were saying, “Is she crazy? What is she doing? Or not doing?” And then, all of a sudden, I hear this sweet voice, “It´s page ‘x’, exercise ‘y’, teacher! That´s what we have to do now. And then we have to turn the page and do activity ‘z’. When we finish, you can correct it.” Oh, my God! What a shame! She was teaching me! And in such a sweet way… Of course I thanked her and we moved on.

After some time, I decided to upgrade my teaching career, so I sent my curriculum to Casa Thomas Jefferson. It had been no more than a week when the head supervisor called, inviting me to an interview. I was nervous, since I was applying for a teacher spot in such a traditional and acknowledged school. Despite my being nervous, the interview was nice. She liked me and asked me to come back a couple of days later to take the written test, which was one of the most difficult tests that I have ever taken in my life. I only had thirty minutes to write an essay and other two and a half hours to cover many, many, many pages with vocabulary and grammar exercises.

To my complete surprise, the supervisor sent me an email two days later, telling me that I had passed the test and asking me to prepare a sample class. Oh, my Goodness! When I got the material for the sample class, it all came back to me, that feeling of insecurity and being lost, without knowing what to do. Of course the sample class was a disaster! The method was completely different from that one I had gotten used to; besides, I saw myself having to teach six coordinators, including her. It was great, wasn´t it? Well, gladly, they saw my potential and offered me a spot as a trainee.

To summarize, here I am, teaching in one of the best schools of the country. The first day of class was also scary – if not even scarier than that one in the first school – but with time, I’ve been learning that the most important thing is to trust myself and what I know. As teachers, we get tested every day by our students and we have to feel secure to provide them with answers. Students can tell when the teacher is secure or insecure and being sure of what you’re doing make them trust you and respect you.